An Organic and Authentic Adventure - Ramblings of a Photographer

So this may seem like a lot of jibberish - and it may be for some but becoming a photographer was not my intention at all. I viewed my self as a decent hobbyist, one who loves the process, figuring things out and learning as I went along.  I never intended or honestly really even thought that I would be working in the field I so admired. OK, maybe a daydream or two - It's kind of glamorous right?  Interesting how things worked out though...one minute I was working hi-tech and the next, I'm working for myself. I learned very quickly that being a photographer is not at all glamorous, nor was it a high paying job - not by any means! You work your ass off and in many cases you are everything - the receptionist, janitor, repair person, sales person, billing, receivables, designer and at last, photographer...and then, everyone wants everything for nothing. I have become a little jaded now when I speak to someone about a portrait session and they say " I would never pay that" - ok don't, but remember, you get what you pay for. Of course I don't say that last part, but it is true to, you really do get what you pay for. So many people seem to want all the digital files and then a few years later, when they can't find them they want them again.  Yes, I have a policy, yes, they know about the policy - that is not the point...the point is, they HAD to have all these digital files that they didn't do anything with. They were shoved into a drawer somewhere and now... Here is the thing, my mom passed away when she was 51 and I was 31. I do not have any of those amazing pictures. My dad passed away 15 years ago and I don't have very many of those pictures either. What are those pictures? Those are the pictures that last a lifetime. That you cherish and take with you where ever you go. Those are the pictures that I so wish I had and so want to make sure everyone else has.

I have spent years learning how to use the tools of my profession - it didn't just happen overnight. Then I spent more years learning the newest tools and figuring out this piece of equipment and then that software and how to do this or that...to now be stepping backward - sort of - in my journey toward a more organic, authentic image.

Organic, authentic image...what the heck does that mean?  It means that I am photographing the way I want to photograph, using the old cameras, that don't need batteries to work, that don't need cards or card readers, that don't require computers to view or edit or print from...yes, I am stepping backward and shooting film. Medium and large format film...and I am loving it! It is so organic and so authentic. Everything has a physical feel to it. The film, the rols or the sheets. Photographing with film has a whole different way of being too it. You don't just jump in and rattle off a dozen frames, you carefully craft the image you are about to capture. I am slowing down (yeah, yeah...physically too) and I mean really slowing down to see, really see what I am looking at. I am not just snapping a picture of it, what ever it is. I am carefully crafting an image. I am directing how I want it to look with the tools I want to use and I am having a blast doing it too. It is different. 

This week I experimented with Ilford FP4 4x5 sheet film and photographed my backyard. I brought out the polaroid back for the Fuji fp100c peal-a-part film for my "proof". I did not use my digital camera, I didn't even use my iPhone to snap a quick proof. I did screw up to. Here I thought two of my sheet film holders were loaded, and they were not....wont' do that again...well, I can't make any promises on that statement yet! Anyway, I photographed for myself and I loved every minute of it. And it took quite a few minutes.